im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
