In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
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