cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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