Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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