you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize