College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
This baby is an asshole
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Randomize
