He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
