Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
