Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables

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(631): View more from New York

stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.

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(650): View more from California

on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator

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(251): View more from Alabama

How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?

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(443): View more from Maryland

I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.

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(330): View more from Ohio

i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?

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