i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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