My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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