saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
he just fucked me for my cheese..
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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