im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
the day after is always just damage control
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
