he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Princesses don't give blow jobs
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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