And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
