DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
