after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
