You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
