Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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