i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
