I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
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As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
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