i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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