i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
