The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
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