just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
