So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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