dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Well I just put wine in my tea
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'm getting married
To pizza
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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