You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
