I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
