He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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