I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
