You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize