i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Randomize
