i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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