he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize