Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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