"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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