idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
