i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
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