The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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