we have officially lost it.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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