I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
