so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
