I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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