fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize