i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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