Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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