Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
