READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
