I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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