great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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