i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
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