omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
