: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He? As in you personified your dick?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
