gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
