I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
