i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
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He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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