Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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