Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
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