My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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