now i know why i became what i already was.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I will pee on everything he values.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Randomize
