WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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