Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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