lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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