super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
