College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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